I had a sobering and interesting experience last night. Drove down the coast to play a songwriter night showcase. Three songwriters, each with a thirty minute slot, and a host who preceeded us with some very original and interesting music and a few rearranged cover songs. She was fun.
It was a noisy room, a bar with a pool table in the back. The patrons , many of whom were facing the stage, were a little talkative; the bar and the bartender more so, and the yahoos in the back pool room were desperately trying to get noticed, even by people in the next building, so it seemed that, on the whole, it was not going to be a listening crowd.
I began my set and in no time, you could hear a pin drop. They seemed to be genuinely enjoying my music, so much so that they put their own social needs on hold. I was thrilled and sort of honored.
I played a thirty minute set I was almost proud of, and received a resounding ovation (having muffed one of my favorite guitar parts on my favorite song was unforgiveable to me and that put a damper on the set for me).
Afterwards people came up to me and told me how fantastic I was, but not one person bought a CD—no one. Not to sound arrogant, but I was surprized and a little stunned as this has never happened to me before.
There was about a ten minute change over and a lovely woman came up with an extra guitar player and began to sing her songs. While her voice was wonderful, I found her songs were derivative of songs you already knew and she played only rudimentary guitar. I think I would have enjoyed it more if just the accompanist was the only player.
The melodies were so familiar and reminiscent of other songs that I found that I was trying to name the song that she had gotten her song from. That distracted me and made me a little uncomfortable.
All the songs were about heartache, heartbreak and betrayal, every single one of them. I tend to want to hear a variety of topics. She tried to make some jokes about it, but unfortunately they weren't very amusing. Very lovely voice though.
She came off stage and people flocked around her and bought CD’s. Amazing, I thought.
The next ten minute change over took thirty five minutes.
I believe that when you participate in these things, you come early, you watch all the acts and you leave when the show is over. So I was committed to the evening. This third songwriter didn’t show up until it was almost time for him to go on and then took his time setting up.
We’re talking a single player with two guitars sitting in a chair. Thirty five minutes to set up.
This is where my agenda began to kick in. I had a 90 minute drive ahead of me and I was hoping to leave by 11 as I had gotten up extremely early that morning. Consequently I did want this show to run like a German train schedule. That clearly wasn’t happening, so I ‘ll cop to the idea that I was getting less receptive to this Johnny come lately.
However he was a very evocative though simple player and his guitar sounded great. His songs were all in the country blues or blues vein and were either covers of songs you knew or songs he had written in that traditional blues genre that for me tend to be repetitive of each other.
I enjoyed the first couple of tunes. One was very provocative. Something about Lincoln and how the truth brings you John Wilkes Booth. It didn’t really say anything to me, but it seemed like it did.
That being said, I was entertained by the first twenty minutes of his thirty minute set. He set up an ambiance that I sincerely admired and enjoyed. When he extended the set for another thirty five minutes; that’s when I began to feel put upon.
We were all observing the time we were allotted, but somehow he felt that didn’t apply to him? I also knew that his indulgence was infringing on my desire and ability to leave. So my agenda was kicking in. I hadn’t been paid and my equipment was still up there by the stage. I couldn’t get my things and leave without it being observed as a judgment on his set or just plain rude.
Here is what you must remember when you are doing these sorts of sets. A schedule has been set up that accommodates and considers everyone. When you abandon that you may cause problems for the other folks on the showcase. This isn't a concert, it is a showcase. Be considerate.
The audience kept getting smaller and smaller, though when he finished, the people who did stay flocked around him and bought CD’s. Amazing, I thought.
After waiting another twenty minutes, I finally received my stipend and with no CD sales of my own, pocketed a modest fist full of dollars and drove home.
Adding to my irritation and discouragement, the freeway was closed and I had to do a ten mile detour through city streets before wending our way back to the freeway, which added another thirty minutes to my drive home.
And all the while I’m thinking, “Why did I sell NO cd’s, while the other two acts sold three or four each? What should I have done or changed to reach that audience?”
It has been my experience that on most nights I can sell half the room a CD, but last night zilch. And according to the folks who came up to me, I was extremely good. The bartender would not let me pay for anything, shook my hand repeatedly and several times asked if I was coming back.
Thinking about how I didn’t reach that audience and how the other acts did, I was so temporarily discouraged by the whole evening that I thought about not doing this anymore.
You start questioning yourself when you think that you sing your buns off, play your buns off and chose material that has consistently been well received only last week and still have no impact on the new audience.
You start to wonder why you are practicing and trying your damnedest to write something that matters, that resonates, that is art and that is original if, in fact, it is not having that effect. At least it didn’t last night.
If all the crowd wants is what it has already heard then how do you explain the Beatles? And if the crowd only wants what it has already heard then, what?-- I guess you just do it for yourself?
If it is all just for yourself, I suppose that is okay, but I didn’t need to drive two hours in rush hour yesterday to present myself to strangers. I could just stay home and do it for me. Why did I do it?
So the question becomes do you hone your craft, work to elevate your art just for yourself? Or do you need that outside validation?
Truthfully speaking, I know that I do need that validation. Somewhere in me there must be a desperate need for approval that never goes away. Where did that caca come from and why won’t it go away? Perhaps that is what drives all performers. Maybe all artists, I don’t know.
Those other two singer/songwriters thought they were really good and the audience last night did as well. Not to be unkind but I thought they were all sort of deluding themselves. Is that what I am doing? Am I deluding myself? Maybe they all thought I was? Who’s to say?
Very fun questions at two o’clock in the morning. They make it really easy to fall asleep. NOT!