When the Demon Clowns Try To Tear You Down

So what do you do when you just don’t feel like doing it?   You don’t feel like pushing that boulder up the hill.   No one cares what you are doing any how and the few that do care are doing it out of noblesse oblige.   How long can you lean on their largesse?   You don’t really have any substantial talent anyway.

We’ve all had these days and these kinds of feelings.    And they don’t need any real facts to show up.    Some little something triggers it and suddenly you don’t have confidence or belief in yourself or your gifts.

I had some lame cartoon rock star snub me at a party, perhaps because he didn’t recognize me, as it had been years since we were friends.   In any event, my feelings were hurt and I started wondering what I was doing at this celebrity event anyway and finally I just packed it in and went home. 

And the demons were at the door, and in my dreams when I finally did get to sleep.

Here’s what I do when these demon clowns show up.

Whether I feel like it or not, I get up, plan my day, and then I simply go and do the plan.

Now all the while, the inner dialog with the demon clowns is going on.  And I address them though not out loud if I’m in public—no point in making things even more uncomfortable.  

However, you can fake it by simply putting a blue tooth in your ear. That way you can talk away and no one  knows how truly batty you’ve become.   I’m convinced that lots of folks do it.    Before blue tooths you could spot the loonies, but now..?

In any event, I engage these demon clowns in conversation, I let them rant on and on, but the trick is, while they are ranting on and trying to tear down the very fabric of my belief in myself, I am still going about my business.

I run my errands, I practice my guitar and my singing, I go to the gym,  I go into the studio and do all the ritual things that one does before a recording or writing session.

And by that time, the clowns have run out of caca seltzer and I’m starting to feel better.    Probably because I actually got something done while this was going on.   But mostly because once you get in to doing something, it is that something that takes over your consciousness. 

You can’t stop the inner voices, but you can go ahead and do your work while they chatter on.

It works for me.    

Comments

[Diane Archambault]

Isn't it funny how our minds work. Hundreds of people can support us and say how good we are at what we do but it only takes one jerk to undermine us totally. I watch my almost two year old grandson most days and do all the house stuff as well but people still tell me that I don't have a "real job" and that really gets to me. I don't stop for a minute all day long and I still get grief for what I do. For what it's worth James, lots of famous people don't have half the talent you do. I was amazed when I saw you perform for the first time and I hope you neve stop doing your thing. You have real talent not the here today gone tomorrow stuff that gets all the attention in the news. One persons opinion doesn't mean a thing. Hang in there.

[Melissa V.]

Who was it? I'll beat him up.

[Eva]

I get this totally because I'm one of those people who the negative sticks to, while the positive...well...while I like a pat on the head and a cookie as well as anyone, I don't quite know what to do with the good stuff. I'm getting better at it though, because those little talks with the self do help.

Life...it's always a work in progress isn't it?