Supply the Joy - Rule Number One

The other day I was having a spat with my bride and I had an epiphany with regard to human relationships that would not only help on the stage but also in our day to day.

I was complaining about something and she got angry and said that I always complained about it but never did anything about it.

I got to thinking about the idea that I was always complaining and I thought that I would rather she thought that everytime I was around it was joyous, not a drag.

Now I realize that no one can be little mary sunshine twenty four hours a day, but wouldn’t you rather be known as someone who brings the sun with them than someone who brings the rain?

That was the epiphany.   And it extends into the response that we give others when they say or do something that is intuitively obvious to you as stupid, inappropriate or unproductive.

My father was very bright, mechanically intuitive and frequently made me feel like a complete idiot because I didn’t see the solution or the problem as readily as he did.   He would sometimes be condescending or ascerbic—that’s where the “I feel like a complete idiot”  would come in.

And as we learn from our parents, I tend to do that to people even when I don’t think I am.

So here’s the simple thing for today.   Be the bringer of joy.

Don’t be so quick to give someone a nasty comment or a condescending sigh.    Think about, ahem, what you want to have happen, and then say something that will further that.   And if the first thing you want to do is bring some joy, then let that be the first thing out of your mouth.

Whatever you say or do after you establish that groundwork will be met with more enthusiasm and acceptance than it would if you were to come one all full of knowledge and impatience with those who don’t possess it.

There is also the idea that people should see what we see is obvious and that is simply not true.   Do not come down on people because they are not you; because they didn’t respond as you would have.

We are all different.   We all have different agendas.  We all have different things that are obvious to us.   We all possess certain gifts, some more than others, but we most definitely do not all possess the same gifts.

Your gifts make your path of least resistance.   Try to remember that that is the same for everyone.    They flow where there is the least impairment to flow.

Be the one who supplies the joy.   Start there.   On stage and in your life.   Be the joy dealer in your ‘hood.

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