I even have time to spend ten dollars on an egg sandwich and an orange juice.

The reasons that they charge you so much for nothing at the airport  are twofold: 

First, you are a captive customer.  You cannot go any place else.  So they do it because they can.  

Secondly, the folks that build the airport for the city, and the city itself, charge so very much for the right to have a concession stand at the airport that they must raise their prices some on a variety of things.

American Airlines charged me $25 for my checked bag.   They raised it from $20.    The reason that they started charging us for bags was because fuel costs quadrupled, thanks to the appointed Bush regime and the fact that they put this country completely into the corporate pocket.  Not to mention the fact that it was that party that was directly responsible for the falling dollar.   But that’s another story.   Sorry for that outburst.

We may need another revolution to put the country back to what the founding fathers considered a democracy.  Whoops, sorry again.

In the meantime,  let’s get back to the airport.   My recommendations are to definitely give yourself enough time to go through unforeseen traffic james; all the bureaucratic “going through the motions” security; and any other surprises a bored deity may create for you.

And don’t carry anything that is going to cause you delays at security.   But sometimes we forget.

Two decades ago, my father gave me a beautiful Buck knife in a leather case.   I’ve carried it ever since.   It is a knife with a locking blade.   Absolutely not permitted on a flight, so I always put it inside one of my shoes in my suitcase.

That’s another idea you should employ by the way.   They go through your bags now and you can’t lock them, so anything valuable that you put in the suitcase is at risk.

When they check through the bags, they have to do it fast, so put things inside your shoes that you don’t want to tempt the inspectors.

In any event, I forgot to put the knife in my shoe in my suitcase and it was still in my guitar case.   When I got to security, they went crazy and of course, wanted me to surrender this $50 knife to them.  I refused.   They said I could not go through security with the knife.

I turned around and went back down to the ticket counter and requested that they hold the knife for me until I returned the following Monday.   The said that they couldn’t do that.   “What if EVERYONE wanted to do that?”   The lamest of the power platitudes.

Okay, I said.  Do you have a lost and found?   You do?   Great!   I lost this knife.  I think I’ll find it next Monday when I return.    She laughed and took the knife.   I picked it  up the following Monday.

Keep your wits about you and don’t get angry.   Get smart.

Feeling bad for his friends change of fortune, he encouraged him to get back to writing and playing and even invited him up to try to come up with a song.

The pal showed up at the house later that day and for several hours nothing came.    Finally, my friend pulled out the song he had just written and he and his friend then wrote a new intro for the completed song.   In a burst of generosity he gave his pal half credit for the entire song.   They made a rough demo.

The intro was never used again anywhere, but the song was picked up by another artist and recorded.   It was a minor hit and still creates a little income for my pal, who also recorded it on two of his albums.

Now his friend shows up and is demanding his half writer share and my pal doesn’t want to pay him.    So that’s the dilemma he brought to me.

My take on it is pretty simple.  Whether the other guy wrote a note or not, my pal made a deal; gave his word; and pretended that his friend wrote half.

When you do that, you are being enormously generous and noble.   You can’t maintain that status and also take back your gift.  

While I applaud what my pal did for his pal, it’s not something that I recommend that anyone do.   When you give undo credit to anyone for anything, it only serves to set up an imbalance that can not be maintained or cheerfully honored.

It just makes for resentment from all parties concerned.   If you want to help a pal that needs some nurturing, then do it.  Help them, nurture them, but don’t give them credit for something that they did not do.   It will only come back and bite you in the ass.

I hate when that happens.

A friend of mine was feeling really down a few days ago and I tried to help her.   She said that it was easy for me to handle stuff because I was happy all the time, while she had to deal with this chronic but not severe depression.

Her response made me laugh out loud.  (hmm, maybe  she's right?)

No one is happy all the time, least of all me.   We all have things coming into our lives that disrupt, challenge, disappoint and betray what we are hoping for.

I have recently experienced the loss of my father.   It is a profound loss and it effects you in ways you can’t imagine.    I find myself frequently blind-sided by bouts of weeping and grief and these bouts happen at the most inopportune times.   I deal with it as best I can.   But I do have a tool that I learned about in an acting class that I took years ago.

In this class, we were given a variety of exercises to free us up and to demonstrate to us what was emotionally available to us as actors; as access to one’s emotions is essentially the actors palette.

One exercise was to stand toe to toe with another actor and simply say yes to your partner’s no.  This was repeated for about three minutes.   What this particular exercise brought out was a thousand different ways to say “yes” or “no”.

Angry, sweet, disappointed, sad; the entire gamut of emotions would show up for both of us during the three minute exercise.   

The coach then explained to us that he wanted to demonstrate to us that in fact, all of our emotions are available to us at all times.   The exercise clearly corroborated that.

On the way home from class, I was thinking about the exercise and I realized that the coach was right!    We do have all these emotions available to us at all times.

Then the question presented itself to me:   If we have all these emotions available to us at all times, why are we choosing to be angry or petty or enraged.   Why not choose joy?

I mean if they are all there all the time, then we are clearly choosing which one we want to use at any particular time.   So why not choose joy?    Why not choose happy?  Why do we  choose to experience or to actually be any of these crappy emotions.   I mean, i know that they show up, but they don't need to stick around for weeks or months, do they?   Choose happy.

It’s not faking it.  It’s choosing it.  

Think about it.

I am a traveling musician in a time when the airlines are charging me for each bag and then charging me for any weight overages on those bags, (while a three hundred pound passenger pays the same price that one hundred and ninety pound me pays—but that’s another story).

Imagine if you, who love me and what I do, want to do something wonderful for me and, because I sing a song called Three Monkeys, you decide to give me a twelve pound ceramic three monkeys statue.  A statue which I must take care of on the road to insure it doesn’t break, and then carefully pack it, so that it doesn’t  break while it is flying home with me in my overweight suitcase.

Okay, now imagine that in every town, a generous, well meaning patron brings me a gift of equal weight.   Imagine that I am on a ten city tour.    I now have a hundred and twenty pounds of ceramic monkey to care for, and package and ship home, all from well meaning fans, and that means three more bags which I must buy, along with the bubble wrap etc, to keep it safe.   That’s $150 in excess baggage charges at a minimum.

Unless, I go to the trouble of packing it up in boxes that I buy from Mail Box International and paying the shipping home from there.   And if I am doing one nighters (and that’s all you get anymore) then I barely have time to travel from one gig to another and do the sound checks and check into the hotels and find my way.   

Now I also have to locate a UPS store and take care of that.

All of the things that I have at home that were given to me by patrons, fans and friends, I love having.   I enjoy seeing these things and remembering them giving them to me.    But I have so many there is no place to put them and I can’t throw them out or give them away without feeling like less of a person than I believe myself to be.   It’s a conundrum.

I really do understand and connect with the impulse, so let me tell you what I do with that impulse.

I buy extra copies of my friends CD’s and books and I give them to other people that I think would enjoy that person’s work.   Think about it.  You go up to an artist that you love and you tell them, “Look I have all your work at home, but I believe in you and what you are doing,so, I’d like to pick up another copy of your latest and give it to my sister, brother, friend, parent, boss, employee, cousin… you get the picture.

You can’t imagine how fantastic that makes an artist feel.   And speaking for myself, I can tell you that I remember those people and I tend to send them post cards from the road, or a copy of the new poster I had made, or something.   

It really works and I really remember it and it doesn’t involve me having to package something up for shipping and then find a place to have it shipped home.

So today’s tip is this:   if you love an artist’s work, then turn other people on to that work.   Bring them to the concerts, connect them on myspace or twitter or facebook to the artist; buy their work and give it to people that you think would enjoy it…and make certain that the artist knows that is what you are doing. 

That turns an artist you like into a friend.   It really can evolve into that and that’s a fun thing.

Do for the others, as Stephen Stills (www.stephenstills.com) put it, do for the folks you believe in and from whom you receive comfort and joy.   It will always come back to you.

Needless to say, we’ve all heard that before but this time was different.  She was as good as her word, and hired me to score her Prime Time CBS TV Special “Cathy”.

I had never scored a TV show before but her confidence in me was inspiring and I did the show.   It won an Emmy and I went on to score the other two Cathy Specials as well.

From the success of those TV Specials, I secured the services of a neophyte film agent.   She was delightful and aggressive and I thought I was on my way.

That’s when I found out that there at ten million people in Los Angeles waiting for a chance to score anything.   Competition is more than fierce.  There are seriously talented people who will score a show for free, just for the chance.

We had, needless to say,  little success securing me another scoring gig, but after a while, she asked me to watch a variety show called the Tracey Ullman Show.

It seems that there was a little five minute cartoon on that show that Fox was taking to its own spot as a thirty minute animated series.

I explained to my agent that I had no interest in becoming a guy who just scored cartoons, but she persisted and finally, just before the deadline, I half hearted put something together just to placate the agent.   I really didn’t see where this could go anywhere.

The gig was landed by a fellow named Danny Elfman  (http://elfman.filmmusic.com/),  the series was called The Simpsons. (www.thesimpsons.com/)

The lesson here is that you never know what a real opportunity is, so you do the very best you can everytime you get a chance.   I am not saying that I could have or would have aced Danny Elfman for that gig, but we’ll never know will we?

Putting on new strings is like starting a brand new life.   Every dead note, unwinding buzz is now gone.   Washed clean, just like a sunny morning after a fresh rain.

Tuning up each string, stretching it out and then fine tuning it to prepare it for playing, is just like what we do to prepare for what we want to do, what we will do, and what we have to do.   It’s an undeniable process that is utterly necessary if we are to move forward; and if we are to play the guitar.

So you get it in tune and you play a song.   We can liken that to a day in your life.   You play the song as best you can, and then, you check the tuning again.    Sure enough, at least one of the strings had drifted a little and you bring in back into harmonic resonance.

That’s the first thing that set me off.   As humans, do we do that after an activity; an event; at days end?    What if we did.  Just did a little check to make certain that we are in tune, and if we are not making the subtle adjustments that will make it so.

With the guitar if you don’t do that, in no time at all the sounds coming out of your guitar are more like impressions of mating cats than music. 

And once it’s way out of tune, it takes a lot of effort and time to bring it back into harmony with itself.   And I suspect it is the same with our lives.  

If we don’t keep a close ear and eye on our lives, they drift out of tune; sometimes so far out of tune that we don’t even know which note is true.   Then we can’t tune it because we have no stable frame of reference.

But checking after each time we play something, each time we do something, we can easily bring all the strings in line and make  music that resonates around the world.

Now here was the final thing that occurred to me.   No matter how many times we bring it into tune, we always have to check and re adjust.  After every song.  

We have to do that with our lives as well.   When tuning the guitar, no one becomes upset because they have to tune it again.   That’s just the way it is and you deal with it with no drama.

See if you can put THAT part in place.   I double dare you.

She invited a pile of her favorite singer songwriters to come and perform and celebrate her birthday with her.

The room was packed and the audience was made up of music lovers and musicians, composers and dogs.  

Needless to say, the whole audience sang on everyone’s  songs and this was the amazing part.   All the songs were good.   I have rarely found that to be true but last night it was.    Everybody brought out their best for the benefit and the egos were checked at the door.   And there had to be about eighteen performers.  Lisa (www.lisanemzo.com) was the hostess extraordinaire and played some great songs and guitar herself.

There were, of course some personal favorites for me.   Julie Chadwick (www.jmyspace.com/juliechadwick) and Joe Hamilton (www.joehamiltonmusic.com)  played back to back and both of them were extraordinary.    Lisa Turner (www.lisasongs.com) turned in  her usual wonderful song and performance (and she sang back up for nearly everyone,  always nailing it.)    And Marc Platt (www.myspace/marcplattmusic) always writes a good song.

But literally everyone was good.  It was a joy and it reminded me why I go out to these kinds of things.   And why you should as well.   There really is a community of musicians, songwriters, performers and if you support each other, you not only get enriched, you get inspired.

You hear a song, a lick, a lyric twist, something and off you go, into something new to and for you.  

It really is a never ending learning process and the more you hear and the more you expose yourself to the creative flow that comes from these events, the more you grow as a musician, composer and person.

Plus as artists, we need the community of artists in order to thrive.  Nobody does it, makes it, or lives it alone.   There always has to be a support system and last night I was feeling woven right into the fabric of this creative thing that we do.   

Be part of your creative community.  And every community has one.  It’s there.  Find it and nurture it and  yourself.  You won’t be sorry.

We are in the only place we could be given who we are.

And I realized that we are right where we are in life because of who we are, as individuals, as groups, as cities, states, country and world.

In every social equation in your life there is only one consistent, common component and that is you.   No matter what has gone down in your life; no matter what situation you are in; no matter how different all these situations are, there is only one common component.  You.

If you do the math, that means that ultimately, you are responsible for who you are; where you are; what you are.  You take up the most space in your life equations so you have the most influence and responsibility.

You can rant and rave about anything you want, but the reality is that there is only one thing that you can change.  You.   You can’t change one other person.

You can change the way you handle things; the way you react; the way you forgive (a huge one), and you don’t do it by making grand announcements or vast lists of resolutions.

The next time that you react to something in a way that doesn’t serve you, at the moment you recognize what you’ve done, whether it is seconds, minutes, hours or days later, acknowledge it and stop going that way.    Apologize if need be, make amends as they say in twelve step programs, but after you‘ve done that once and realize that it doesn’t hurt too much, and you can catch it again and you will catch it a little bit sooner with practice.

Once you are aware of what you are doing to harm yourself and you recognize and acknowledge it, you will find that it is a tiny bit easier and a tiny bit sooner to recognize and acknowledge.    Then you rectify it and soon you are noticing the problem inside of you before you even say outloud the thing that you previously had to apologize for.

I’m not kidding, you can change what isn’t working for you, but you can’t do it in huge chunks.  It’s day to day, minute to minute.  

But it can be done, and you can do it.   Take charge of your life one second at a time.    The years will take care of themselves.

For instance, last winter, almost a year ago, I played in the south.    The shows were all successful and the promoters were effusive in their praise and their insistence that they had never seen such a professional show.    Two of the promoters gave me quotes for my webpage, for which I am extremely grateful.

They all talked about how they wanted to have me back and  one talked about how next time, she had to make certain that they got the big hall and really promoted it because this was a special show, not the regular fare.

I smiled and thanked them and enjoyed basking in their praise. 

Months passed.

As I was putting together a return trip to happen at the same season as the previous tour, I contacted one of the promoters who was, truly the most effusive of the bunch and said that I was planning on coming back.

I was told that they had already booked the season; that there were so many people coming through that they didn’t see how they could book another one.

And then then told me who they had booked.   Kind, generous, moderately gifted people all, but few professionals.  Few who would actually increase the size of audience by virtue of giving a performance that would be talked about as something not to be missed the next time.

Not that everyone doesn’t deserve a chance in the spotlight, provided they have prepared for it; nor that no one should be allowed to work except me, though that would make things alot easier...for me.  But I digress.

If you are trying to build a series, you do it by providing the most professional event that you can.   You keep the bar high and soon your audience knows that even if they haven’t heard of someone, if you are having them in your series, they must be worth it.  

And they come back...and they bring their friends, and you are the toast of the town for creating such a wonderful series. 

What I should have done, and what I recommend to you when you are in this position of having just done a really good show and you are basking in the praise, is to sit down with the promoter, while they are enthused about what you do and set a date.  Even if it’s two years out, set a date.  

The time to book yourself is when the promoter is excited about you and your talents.    A year later, many don’t remember whether you were any good at all, let alone, wonderful.

This is the land of media overload, and it’s easy to get swept aside by the next wave of whatever.   They forget.  They can’t wait to forget.   They are standing in line to forget.   It really is, “what have you done lately?”

Book your next date when you are right there, in their face and you’ve just done a brilliant show.   Even if you have an agent, book the show and then text them, phone them, fax them, immediately and tell them to follow up and contract the date.   

You’ll thank me in the end.

A couple of weeks ago I was at a show and noticed how unengaging the between song patter was from the fellow on stage. 

Fortunately, he had a self deprecating sense of humor that got him out before it actually got boring, but it made me realize that as an artist, you need to pay as much attention to what you are saying between songs as you do to the songs themselves.

I come from the tradition of talking to the audience between songs and all the people that I emulate are people who were successful doing that.   I like to make people laugh and I think it makes for a more rounded performance;   more entertaining and more engaging. 

Nothing turns me off more than a performer just wagging on and on and  not saying anything I am interested in or entertained by.   If you don’t care about entertaining, then perhaps you should not be in the spotlight.   I am not saying that everyone has to be Robin Williams (www.robinwilliams.com), just that if you are going to talk, make it entertaining...somehow.

One of the mistakes this fellow made was to talk about his CD between every song.   He hammered us with the fact that he had a CD for sale and I noticed at the merch table that he seemed to sell his CD’s to people that already knew and loved him.  He didn't seem to sell to any new people and you have to to that  to grow; to spread the gospel of your music.

I believe that if you hammer strangers over and over about your CD, it turns them off.

I make my CD sales pitch before the last song and I have made the pitch as funny as I know how.   And it works.  I almost always do half the house.   If  I could only move into the amphitheatre with those kinds of statistics.

The best way to tell how you are doing with your patter and your set is to record it and listen to it on the way home.  

And by the way, when you are recording make certain that you get the audience on the recording as well.  That way you can actually hear what their reactions to your  patter are.    You can’t tell if something is funny or not, if you don’t hear the laughter after the punch line.

As you listen to yourself, see if you can shorten the set ups.   There is a thing I call the comedic balance.  The set up cannot be bigger than the punchline or the joke/story just lies there.   The painful shaggy dog story, if you will.

Figure out what really matters in what you are saying; figure out what moves the story or joke or whatever along, and what doesn’t, just let go.    You can tell the same story but with more brevity.   This is more effective and keeps your audience engaged.

And you needn’t talk after every song.   Unless you are really funny, it just slows the show done and demonstrates that you are an amateur.    This is not a good look for anyone.