Songwriting 3 - The ReWrite
Tuesday, September 4, 2007 at 09:33PM I wanted to take a look at rewriting today. When you have a good idea and it has evolved into a bad song, what do you do? The trash or the rewrite or cannibalism are your three choices. How you throw a song out is obvious, so let’s look at the other two.
The Rewrite
The easiest way for me to do this is to use a song of mine that I actually recall writing. I mentioned this song briefly in a previous article, but the memory of writing of this particular song is clear to me. (One of the mysteries of songwriting for me is how fast the process, the recollection of the development of the song simply fades from my memory. Once the song is done, I frequently have no clear memory of writing it. Fortunately, I have many, many notebooks full of the development so I have a record of it).
A while ago, I was producing a wonderful singer/songwriter/actor/human named Hamilton Camp (www.hamiltoncamp.com -- his photo is somewhere in here on the stage at the Newport Folk Festival in 1961 with Dick Rosmini backing him up). In any event, as I was waiting for him to arrive at the studio, I was strumming my guitar. Suddenly, I got a melodic idea that felt right to me. I pursued it and came up with some lyrics. Hamilton called and said he was stuck in traffic and would be late (welcome to L.A.) Fantastic, I thought, and I immediately started writing lyrics.
They turned into a love song about a lost love, and whether she ever thinks about me… The chorus went, “Do you ever think about me? Do I ever cross your mind? Do you ever think about me and the love we left behind?” The verses were simply memories and fleshing out the idea that people we love stay with us. A nice idea I thought.
As I was playing it, Hamilton came into the studio. Listen to this I said and played him a rough version of the song. His response was candid and immediate. Why are you writing a song like that? It’s already been said a thousand times and better than that too! Wow, I thought, he doesn’t pull any punches. He went on to say that he thought I was a bright fellow with lots to say and why wasn’t I saying it? I told him I would think about it and put down the guitar and we went to work on his CD. That was the morning of Sep 29th, 2005. The shame of the Bush response to Katrina was prominent in the news.
We put the finishing touches on Sweet Joy over the next six hours and then Hamilton left. I thought about what he said for a few minutes and then I picked up my guitar again. Someone had sent me some very dramatic photographs of the cloud formations leading up to Katrina and they were fresh and vivid in my mind.
I played the progression that I had created for my little love song and hummed the melody, purposely not singing the words that I had previously written. Suddenly, that vision of the Katrina storm clouds popped into my mind…
“It’s a sky the shade of iron, it’s a storm just out of sight.
They say the sun may shine tomorrow, but it’s gonna rain like hell tonight.”*
I put down the guitar and started writing lyrics. I thought about my rage at the way this debacle was handled; thought about how effective FEMA was during the Clinton administration; thought about how this country once was and how it is now and then I let my anger and hope flow. The song took on a life of it’s own and nearly wrote itself:
world we left behind
it's a sky the shade of iron, there's a storm just out of sight
they say the sun may shine tomorrow, but it's gonna rain like hell tonight
yes it's gonna rain like hell tonight
even when there's no denying thunder clouds and rising floods
still some won't believe what lies before their eyes, tho they're sinking in the mud
do you ever stop to wonder? does it ever cross your mind
that there's a world in which we struggle and a world we left behind?
what has happened to promise? to the brightest and the best
yesterday we had the grandest dreams.
have they all been laid to rest? …do we disregard the rest?
i believe "do unto other's as you'd have them do for you"
what else fulfills with so much grace? so easy and so true
do you ever stop to wonder? does it ever cross your mind
there's a world in which we struggle and a world we left behind?
some believe there'll be a rapture; those with faith will disappear
could it be it's all mythology? just a prayer to ease our fears
is it just a prayer to ease our fears?
i don't see them golden slippers, i don't see that glory train
you make your peace right here, right now, in the sunshine or the rain
if you're able, if you're cain
do you ever stop to wonder? does it ever cross your mind
that there's a world in which we struggle and a world we left behind?
remember the beginning; every hope so bright and new
every shining possibility; for the many, not the few
remember? remember?
they say you can't go home again, that it's all inside your head
a place we can't get back to; a path we cannot tread
still i see it in my minds eye, and i feel it in my heart
but i wish and i pray at least once every day
things could come together with the ease they fall apart
things could fall together with the ease they come apart
do you ever stop to wonder? does it ever cross your mind
there's a world in which we struggle and a world we left behind?
remember the beginning; every hope all fresh and new
every shining possibility; for the many, not the few
remember? remember?
Words and music by james lee stanley 29 September, 2005
@ the real james lee stanley music, sesac
www.jamesleestanley.com/eternalcontra.html
And the cannibalism I hinted at at the beginning of the article is also there. I kept the melody from the original idea and dumped the clichéd love lyrics. Now I had a song that said something that I cared about. I emailed the lyrics to Hamilton and they were there when he got home. He immediately wrote me back and said he loved them and that he was also amazed at how fast it happened. I told him it was his fault. He inspired me by telling me his truth regarding the song. It’s great to have a sounding board like that to bounce something off of. An audience of someone else’s fans can and will do the same thing, but they are never as handy as a friend like Hamilton, caring about you and what you do and having the courage to tell you. You need that when you are writing.
(Hamilton Camp passed away on Sunday, October 2nd, 2005 – His last album, Sweet Joy, can be heard at www.CDBABY.com/hamiltoncamp or at www.jamesleestanley.com)
Reader Comments (6)
That's a hell of a lyric...is that tune on a current release? if i ever get enough money together to buy another cd I need to pick up a few more of yours...btw I have developed this habit when I am dry of going thru my notebooks and taking a line here a paragraph from a free write there ...its not my favorite thing to do I'd rather write from beginning to end with no interruptions in a stream of conciseness form with the story prefabricated lyric and melody all nice and neatly wrapped...but the longer I write the more that doesnt work...or at least i find that its not as good as often as it is...and the stuff that i pine over and think is less than stellar turns out later to often be beautiful and really something I am proud of...Elton John says if he sits down at the piano and doesnt come up with a whole song in a half hour he throws whatever it is away...I wonder if he throws it completely away or canabilizes it in one way or another...
bobby, thanks for the comments. i also take lines from my notebook. and sometimes when i can't seem to get anywhere, i will begin by typing a song or poem that i've already written. it's sort of like gathering momentum. by the time that i get to the end of the already written piece, i'm back in that writing place and can just keep going ...like pedaling your bike before you hit the hill.
and "the world we left behind" is on the new solo cd, the eternal contradiction.
james
Funny what you describe...typing something you've already written is very similar to what I have done...I do a free write just writing even if its crap and I do it for a half hour and by the time I'm done there is usually something that is good...or at the very least can be made to be good
oh the the world we left behind...I was looking for a different title on the tracklisting...
broalmanone.com
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bobby, thanks for the comments. i also take lines from my notebook. and sometimes when i can't seem to get anywhere, i will begin by typing a song or poem that i've already written. it's sort of like gathering momentum. by the time that i get to the end of the already written piece, i'm back in that writing place and can just keep going ...like pedaling your bike before you hit the hill.
and "the world we left behind" is on the new solo cd, the eternal contradiction.
james-D & G shoes less